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Do’s and Don’ts of Internet dating
Internet dating has taken the dating world by storm. Once upon a time, Singles would be ashamed of even saying they wanted a relationship - and now millions of people worldwide are shouting it to the skies. The media loves to tell horror stories of internet dating, and yet my experience is that it is neither good nor bad, but merely a tool that used with skill and consciousness, can open up a whole new wonderful world of possibilities!
So, here are some tips that I picked up in my over two years of Internet dating (PS I found my gorgeous partner in cyberspace, so maybe you could too.)
1. What level are you playing at ?
* Just new out of a relationship and looking for friendship?
* Looking for a BonkBuddy (respectful but uncommitted sex)?
* Or wanting to attract a committed Life Partnership?
Get very clear on this question!!! Ask your friends where they think you’re at. Often people think they are ready for a committed relationship when most everyone around them just knows they are not. Much of the unnecessary painfulness of Internet dating is due to people not being sure, or pretending about this issue.
2. Prepare your attitude
Curiosity, respect, self-esteem and discernment. Treat all contacts with the respect that any human deserves. Playing on the Internet is a great way to check your integrity. It’s just sooo easy to ignore someone when you haven’t met them, isn’t it?
Keep focussed on having fun and whether they are the right one for you – NOT whether you are good enough for them.
3. Get clear on your requirements and values
Include these in your profile. Some good coaching can help
you get clear on this.
4.Your profile
* Always include a recent photo unless you have issues around privacy. Make it the best photo possible and no more than 3-5 years old. Glamour shots are NOT a good idea – too much disappointment and loss of trust down the line :-)
* Write as much as you can – this is your Life!!
* Be light and humorous if it comes naturally to you.
* Stand out from the crowd – what’s different about you?
* Tell them clearly WHO you are and WHAT you’re looking for (requirements) and what’s important to you (values).
5. Dating Etiquette
If they contact you first ....
*Always contact them back - even if you're not interested. Many sites provide a Kisses facility where you can send a free response back to say you are not interested. Or if you wish to email, say something like: “…thankyou so much for contacting me. I had a good read of your profile and I sense that there may not be enough in common for us to go further. Wishing you all the very best in your journey....."
* Check out their profile and photo and send your individually designed ‘20 Questions Quiz” – either straight up (if you’re brave and not into wasting time) - or after a few email interchanges. People who are serious about attracting a life partner tend to be okay about answering, though some prefer to answer the questions on the phone or in person.
PS if you want a copy of the “20 Questions Quiz”, please email me - info@AwareConnections.com - and put “20 Questions Quiz” in the subject line.
6. Making contact…when YOU find someone interesting….
* Keep your initial email short - be complimentary and refer to some of the things you have in common – give them the link to your profile to check out for themselves.
* If they respond favourably, send them the ‘20 Questions’.
* Whether you’re male or female, be the initiator – if you’re still interested after their response to the questionnaire, ask for their phone number. For safety reasons, some women prefer to get the guy’s number and call him. If he won’t give you his number, he’s either not interested enough or he’s hiding something. Move on quickly.
* Unless you just want an email pal, DO NOT spend ages emailing –you have NO IDEA what someone is really like until you phone and then meet in reality. Statistics show that up to 30% of men on dating sites are married. The ‘20 Questions’ tends to turn them off somewhat :-)
7. Persist – tho’ take breaks when you get tired
* I was contacted by over 550 guys before I met ‘the one’!!
8.Visualise your ideal partner and start FEEEEELING
sexy, excited, loved and succulent NOW!!! Feeling great will send out just the right vibrations to attract that special someone into your life (see Law of Attraction :-)
Have fun!!!! See you next time for Stage 2 – The First Date
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