Separation and divorce are among the toughest experiences people can face. It is a difficult time for both men and women, but often men find it harder to cope.
Men report a huge range of intense reactions when they are going through a separation, and many men experience different physical and emotional responses at various stages.
The following are only a few examples of these responses. You may feel:
- frustrated, powerless and angry
- confused, with thoughts spinning in circles
- desperate, ready to drop off the planet
- determined to stand ground and battle to the bitter end
- lonely and sad
- bewildered and hurt
These types of reponses, while painful and distressing, are perfectly normal.
The good news is that most men face these intense feelings and survive. Even better, they usually go on to live fulfilling and happy lives. The not-so-good news is that it will take time.
The path through separation is unlikely to be a neat, straight line. You will find yourself experiencing the highs and lows that come with grief and loss. You will revisit memories and feelings you thought you'd left behind. The emotional and mental impact will test your strength and your capacity to look after yourself properly. Often, the last thing men want to do is seek support of any kind.
Some men feel so ashamed about the break-up they go into denial. Others feel ashamed that they are not coping very well. It is important to ask for help if you need it. You're likely to be surprised at how willing people are to offer support. You could talk to your friends, family or work colleagues, or try your local doctor, counselling services and men's groups.
Don't be too hard on yourself, and never be afraid to ask for help.
Mensline Australia is managed by Crisis Support Services Inc
#401 Copyright © Mensline Australia 2004